just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
