Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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