Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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