Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
