So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
