Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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