i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
