did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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