I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
