At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
