We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
