I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize