Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
