Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
