i barfeds in our rink
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
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