I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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