Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
