I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
