if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
worst night to have a conscience
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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