He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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