Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Randomize
