Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
