Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
