Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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