Dual....:-)
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
