Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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