ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It's official drugs can't kill me
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
