I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
