Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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