Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
