oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
