the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
