They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
