He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
