dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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