He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
