She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
