i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
