Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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