Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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