She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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