...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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