Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize