we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
