I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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