i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
