the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
