Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize