So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
