I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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