i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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