let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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