Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
