I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Too much gin, very little bucket
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
