Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
kristin has been a bad kristin
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
