Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
vagina is talking i cant
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
