there's paper in my vomit.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize